Dealing with homesickness in college

Q: After having been back home in California for winter break, I have just returned to a prominent university in the South where I am a freshman. I am extremely homesick, I don’t like my roommate and I feel like I don’t really fit in at my school. I am considering transferring. What advice can you offer?

A: The three problems you mentioned in your question may be interconnected.

Part of the reason you are homesick may be that you dislike your roommate and feel that you don’t fit in at your current school. Another possible reason might be that California and the southern United States can feel like very different places. It wouldn’t be surprising if it took some time to adjust to a different environment.

However, because you can’t magically move your university to California, let’s examine some ways you could make your college experience more satisfying.

First, set up a meeting with the housing office and see if you can switch roommates.

Often, if you can provide concrete examples of why you don’t get along with your roommate, the university will do its best to accommodate you.

Having an incompatible roommate can put a serious damper on your freshman experience.

If your school isn’t able to accommodate your request to switch roommates, it will usually offer some sort of mediation where you and your roommate can air your differences and (hopefully) make your living situation better.

Second, do your best to try to make new friends — even if they are not exactly like your friends from back home. Join clubs, play intramural sports, strike up conversations with students you may have otherwise overlooked.

You will be surprised by how a good group of friends can make even the worst homesickness disappear.

However, if after following these tips you are still unhappy, I would recommend that you consider transferring. As soon as you have made up your mind to transfer, research the colleges that interest you and begin working on the transfer applications.

In order to make sure you don’t end up at another school that is not a good match for you, I would recommend working with a college counselor. I have advised many students who have ended up enjoying the remaining years of their college experience immensely after a transfer. It’s a cliché, but they are truly older and wiser when they make that second college choice.